Sexercise

Dear Women Everywhere,

What a day.  Do you ever sit at work and just think you would rather be anywhere else?  Today that is how I felt….most days that is how I feel.  As I walked into work the smell of oatmeal and cheap coffee assaulted my nose in the breakroom.  Then I entered the dreaded cubicle maze and a wall of quietness felt like a force field of heavy breathing in unison.  It is always so unnatural for the number of people working behind the kola fur colored four-foot fabric walls that must be disgusting with bits of skin cells from the last 30 years.  It makes me shiver every day just thinking that I have never once seen them cleaned and what all they have witnessed.  I can always hear the random sniffle or stapler of all the good little worker bees as I take the same path I do every day like a rat in a science experiment but, there is no reward at the end.  Maybe this office job isn’t meant for me but, we need the pay check so there I sit day in and day out doing my job. 

Sorry for the rant.  I am sure many of you can relate.  Life isn’t perfect, but we do what we have to do to get by.  We do what we need to do to pay the bills and we do what we can to be happy.  Right now, I may not have control over my happiness at work but I do have control over the happiness at home.  I had mentioned that I need to start working out again.  Then I realized my muscles are a little sore after a good romp in the sack.  I can kill two birds with one stone.  Sexcersize.  Sex is a great way to get your heart rate up and get some good old exercise.  I think it will not only help my connection with my husband and help me feel great, but it is going to help me loose a few pounds too.  Forget yoga, I am going to get my work out in the bedroom. 

It will also help Mr. Sparks lose a few extra pounds of baby weight too.  That is right I am not the only one who put on a few pounds when I was pregnant.  This seems to be normal and I love his “dad bod” but this seems like a fun way to tone up together.  I even found this great article with positions (that are way beyond my expertise but maybe I'll get there someday) Top 8 Sexcercise Positions.  

To take it a step further I found this amazing website: SEXCERCISE Interactive You can calculate how many calories you burn and your partner burns.  Select different positions and how long in each positions.  Now, I don't see myself doing this often but, it is interesting to see.  I took a look at different positions and Mr. Sparks definitely burns more calories than I do.  I guess I really make him work for it.  

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

My Dirty Little Fantasy

Dear Women Everywhere,

It’s my quiet time in the house, when everyone is sleeping but me.  I would be in bed too but my mind is racing about all the tings I should have finished today.  I never did make it to the store, I guess the kids will have water in their cereal, because we are out of milk. 

Anyway, as you know the lingerie went great.  I enjoyed it too and would definitely do it again.  However, I have continued to over analyze it…as I tend to do to everything in life.  So, although it did make me feel good, I do feel it was more of a turn on for Mr. Sparks than for me.  If that is one of his fantasies, then what is one of mine? 

I know many people fantasize about other people, and I think it is great to use your imagination.  I feel lucky to be married to my best friend.  My dirty little fantasy may seem unusual to others.  I actually didn’t even realize it was one of mine until very recently, when I was laying in bed the other night.  I was having trouble falling asleep but Mr. Sparks was not.  I started thinking about sex, as I do so often these days.  Then I realized all I wanted was for Mr. Sparks to start spooning me, I wanted him to just know in his sleep my deep need for him.  I tried playing a little bit of footsie, but he was really sleeping.  My fantasy is to have such a deep emotional, physical, and spiritual connection with Mr. Sparks that he knows my every need and desire without me even saying a word.  That like an animal he instinctually would just sense my lust and desire at the right moment.  I know I could have woken him up, and I think he would have liked that, but it would have ruined the fantasy. 

Here is an article I found on fantasies other women have:  25 Sex Fantasies Women Have.  What are some fantasies you have had?  Have you shared any with your partner?  Have you tried any?  I am definitely going to have to think about other things I will like and have another talk with Mr. Sparks. 

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Lingerie ON

Dear Women Everywhere,

Finally, after it sitting in the drawer mocking me the lingerie, I was so eager to use, was put to good use.  Mr. Sparks waited down stairs patiently as I got ready.  My heart was racing a little as I felt so exposed but excited at the same time.  The moment I knew it was all worth it was when I saw the twinkle in his eyes and the mischievous youthful smile on his face.  In that moment all my insecurities drifted away, and I felt like we were just two young love birds again.  With our door locked for just a little while time stood still, and all our worries drifted away as if nothing else mattered in the world except our love. 

Sadly, and I hate to admit this, it has probably been since we were newly weds that I did anything special like that for Mr.  Sparks.  I think too often I let my insecurities get in the way of what really matters in life.  I get too wrapped up in my own head to realize that Mr. Sparks loves me for who I am.  Tonight, that twinkle in his eye and youthful smile reminded me that he finds me attractive still and I should be proud of the body that I have.  It is beautiful and wonderful that I have given birth to our two beautiful little girls.  In turn, I love his body as it has aged as well.  I don’t want the boy he once was (although I loved it at the time).  I now love the man he has become, extra hair and all. 

I am going to order more sexy underwear.  I enjoyed it and so did Mr. Sparks.  However, I know how life can get.  So, I think we should declare a designated night that is a little sexier than the other nights.  I’m thinking Monday’s because we are always dreading them, and it would make me look forward to Monday.  I will have to talk to Mr. Sparks and see what he thinks.  Do any of you have a designated night that you dress sexy? 

On a side note Mr. Sparks asked if I wanted him to wear anything special.  Do any of you have your man dress sexy?  I hadn’t really thought of this.  I told him I would have to think about it.  I know everyone is different and there is no judgement here.  If you want your man (or partner) wearing leather chaps more power to you.  For me, it is going to be a fantasy I explore further down the road.  I did find this article on what others think is sext for men to wear:  The 23 Sexiest Things a Guy Can Wear However, these are more in a day to day setting and not so much in the bedroom.  

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Roll Over

Dear Women Everywhere,

Mr. Sparks is back from his trip and very jet lagged.  I was laying in bed and I just couldn’t take it anymore.   I wanted so desperately to roll over and grab Mr. Sparks but, I feel like I am the only one making the effort here.  I laid on my side willing him to make the first move.  Wanting him to touch me, caress me, kiss me and love me.  As if my body wanting him could communicate with his and he would somehow roll over and grab me from behind and start gently showing me how much he needs me too. 

Then just like that the moment passed and the wanting turned into frustration and anger.  I felt as though if he turned to me with lust, I would turn him away.  I didn’t want him to touch me and I physically scooted further away from him in the bed.  That is when I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I decided to come write to you.  Am I only woman who feels this way?   There are so many times I want to be intimate, but I want him to make the first move, I want to feel wanted.  I want to be desired.  At the same time if it isn’t in the right moment and the window closes…my emotions change so rapidly. 

I am the first to admit it isn’t fair.  But life isn’t fair people.  I wish it were different, just as much as men wish it were different.  I guess that is why foreplay is so important.  So that lingerie Mr. Sparks and I bought together on that fun night that feels like a moth ago still just sits there mocking me.  I have probably gained weight since it arrived and it will probably not even fit anymore.  

I refuse to live this way.  I have to get back into the frame of mind of making the first move.  I found this interesting article:  Why Women Don't Initiate Sex With Men so I know it's not just me.  Ladies, we want sleep...I know this...but I want SEX too!  

Until the next time I can't sleep,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Self Satisfaction

Dear Women Everywhere

I'm all alone.  It's crazy how quiet the house seems at night with one less body in it.  I know it seems silly.  I am really not alone at all, the kids are home and the ferocious beast of a dog that still wakes me up every night or will defecate on the carpet.  Yet even when Mr. Sparks goes to bed before me I can sense his presence and don't feel as alone as I do right now.  He has traveled abroad for work so now I sit in a quiet house while everyone sleeps.

I decided tonight that instead of taking break from my sexual journey that I would continue it.  It has been sometime since I discovered my own self satisfaction.  To make it extra fun I decided to text Mr. Sparks and let him know what I was up to as well.  He definitely appreciated the information.  Solving your own problems is sometimes VERY satisfying, if you don't know your own wants and needs, then who does?  Not to mention all the fun toys they have these days to aid in accomplishing your goals.  You don't even have to be brave anymore when shopping, you can simply go online and click on when you want.

Not that there was any doubt that orgasms, no matter how they are achieved, have health benefits I did find some articles to support this.  Health Benefits of Masturbation.  8 Health Benefits Of Having An Orgasm Every Woman Should Know.  Not to mention it is just fun, why can't we just have fun in life again.  It almost feels like that is frowned upon these days.  As if we need an excuse to do something we want to do in life.  Look, I am a responsible adult who is a productive member of society...I don't need to have an excuse...and you don't either!

So, what do you like to think about while you self satisfy?  Next time you do it yourself.  I challenge you to not fantasize but just focus on YOU.  Just think about how relaxed you are and think about how great it feels.  Don't think about anything else, let your mind go blank.  Focus only on the feeling and that nothing else in the world matters at that moment.  If we can find our relaxation mode in our alone moments it will be easier to find them in other moments as well.  I am more ready than ever for Mr. Sparks to return home.

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Dry Spell Contunies

Dear Women Everywhere,

Dinner went was alright, I only slightly over cooked the salmon.  Cooking never has been my strong suit.  Mr. Sparks has always done more of the cooking than I have.  He leaves in the in morning for Japan.  It is a short trip given how far he is going but it always gives me more respect for single parents out there.  I have respect for the fact that they have to do it all on their own every day.  They are amazing and, I know this is completely off subject but it made me wonder how children can benefit from single parents.  So, as you all know by now how much I love reading articles.  I found this great article 7 Wonderful Ways Kids Benefit From Having Single Moms.

Okay, obviously my dry spell is continuing.  Aunt flow is still here and Mr. Sparks is heading out before she leaves.  I am doing my best to still be loving and affectionate.  In fact, I have talked to Mr. Sparks more about what I like.  I told him I love it when he is a little more of a gentleman.  Don't get me wrong, I am all for strong independent women and I am raising two of them as we speak.  However, that doesn't mean I don't want to be treated more like a lady.  I can be both a strong independent woman and a wife that likes to be treated with love and kindness.

I explained to Mr. Sparks that I find it sexy when he does things for me like holds doors, or thinks of me first.  It makes me happy and tells me in nonverbal ways that he is thinking of me.  I want him to share what turns him on with me as well.  I know mine may not be as sexy as he would have wanted but, I was just being honest.  I get turned on, or off,  throughout the day by his little actions or nonactions.  This is not to say I want him to be perfect, just to think a little more now and then of his actions for me.

For now, my dry spell is continuing.  I hope you are doing better than I am.  Hopefully the night Mr. Sparks gets back from his trip there are fire works.  Until then...

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Aunt Flow Comes To Town

Dear Women Everywhere,

The good news is my new lingerie arrived.  The bad news is it arrived at the same time as my Aunt Flow.  That's right, sometimes life throws you a curve ball.  Our darling Daughter is feeling better and no one else got sick.  Which is fantastic.  Not fantastic is the fact that we couldn't use it.  So much for the vanilla sexting I had done earlier that day when I thought it was still possible.  Ooops...sorry Mr. Sparks to get you all hot and bothered just to leave you with a cold shower in the end.  I guess we all have bad luck sometimes.

Although, I know many people have sex while on their period.  Do you?  I have never been a fan of it.  I just don't feel sexy or in the mood.  I did some research, as I tend to do.  I found an article explaining some of the health benefits.  5 Reasons You Should Have Sex on Your Period  
I'm still not convinced.  To each their own, if you are into it then go for it and enjoy the health benefits as well.

Do you get frustrated with all the experts out there telling you how to make your sex life so wonderful?  I think so often they forget what real life is like.  You can do everything by the book, but that doesn't mean that life isn't going to get in the way.  I just need to remember after Aunt Flow leaves, I need to make an effort again.  In the meantime, I will continue to make an effort to be more loving in other ways.

Tomorrow, even though I will just want to be in comfy clothes and eat chocolate for dinner I will  make Mr. Sparks favorite meal.

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Life Gets in The Way

Dear Women Everywhere,

Life.  Just when things start moving smoothly you get covered in tomato soup vomit and get into an argument over who is going to stay home with a sick kid.  The smell of vomit is still in my hair and for the record it was me.  I stayed home.  Nope, not feeling it.   Not in the mood tonight.

It 's hard, it made sense for me to stay home today, and if I'm being honest I'm not mad about that.  Our daughter couldn't help vomiting on me.  Well, maybe she could.  She is old enough to make it to the toilet...we will work on that one.  Just overall, everything, makes me feel blah, not ready to go get busy.  I can't imagine Mr. Sparks feels ready to go either after we got all of 5 hours of sleep.  Do you ever have nights like this?  It felt like everything that could go wrong did today.

I need to not be discouraged.  I read this article and thought it was better than most:  When Couples Stop Coupling .  It gave me hope that I am on the right path...that we are on the right path.  The article points out that it is important to make being intimate a priority in your marriage.  Reminding me how it brings us closer as a couple and reconnects us.  It is normal for me to feel annoyed with Mr. Sparks at times, it would be abnormal if it was always rainbows and sunshine.  That is not how the real world works.  Life isn't perfect.  When you live with someone and you are around them ALL the time unless you are being fake you are going to have differences in opinions.  I know this will pass and we will be back on track soon.

I am not a counselor or therapist.  I am just a married woman trying to achieve what I want in life.  Reading articles helps sometimes.  However, at times it gets frustrating.  Many professionals seem to forget that shit happens in life.  This article had some good information:  Keep The Spark Alive in Your Marriage  Although it was written by a man, hopefully he looked for input from a woman.

If anyone has some good news for me please, I would love to hear it.  I could really use a pick me up!  Please tell me if someone else has done something creative to spark up their sex life.

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Sexy Mama

Dear Women Everywhere,

Sooooo...The sex talk went AWESOME.  It was even better than expected and I highly recommend it if you haven't had a chance to talk to your spouse.  I admit, it was supper awkward to start out.  Even after 13 years of marriage and children how do you start out telling the man you love you are not happy in the bedroom?  If you have done it please let me know how you started.  This is how my night went down.  I had butterflies in my stomach and it felt like it took forever to get the kids to sleep.  We watched a show as I drank a glass of wine.  I couldn't tell you what it was about because all I could think about was how to start this conversation.  Once I was positive the kids were asleep and the show was over I turned the TV off and turned to Mr. Sparks with a smile.  He looked at me quizzically.  "Are you happy?" I asked.  It was just what came out. I don't know why, I think because that is what is truly what is important to me.  His happiness and mine.

It started with a small surface talk and then got deeper into the bedroom issue.  We addressed all the issues I wanted to.  Mr. Sparks admitted he had been discouraged and he understood that he didn't know how or when to approach me after having children.  I admitted my body had changed and I was still getting used to it.  We both agreed we wanted more and discussed how to make that happen.  Then, it ended online....yes that's right.  We ended by looking for some fun lingerie.  Something he would like and something I would also enjoy wearing.  I admit it turned us both on and the whole thing took us upstairs in the end.

I can't wait for our new goodies to arrive, thank goodness for Amazon Prime.  I have a better idea of what he finds sexy and he also understands what he can do to put me in the mood as well.  Like help out around the house, compliment me, positive attention, and maybe even hit the gym once in awhile.  He let me know he loved the texts I sent, and the compliments I had been giving him as well.  I really feel like we are starting to be on the right path.

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

The Sex Talk

Dear Women Everywhere,

This has been an interesting journey so far.  I have been reading articles and talking to people more about sex more than I ever have before.  I know there is so much more to a marriage than sex.  I feel like Mr. Sparks and I have a strong relationship over all.  We communicate about the kids, the finances, schedules, work, and so much more.  So why aren't we talking more about sex?  That is why tonight, or soon at least when the kids aren't around and we have a nice glass a wine (from the box, ha ha), Mr. Sparks and I are going to have the sex talk.  HA!  That sounds like he isn't sure where to put it.  I assure you, he does.  I just want to talk about what went awry and how to straighten it all out, or see if he even wants it to change.  Do you talk about sex with your spouse?

I have high hopes for the sex talk.  I want to confess that I am scheduling our sex and see if he is also doing this.  I want to ask if he stopped initiating because I turned him down so many times.  I also want to ask him to start trying again and assure him, I will do my best to say yes more often.  If he can open up and let me know how I can put him in the mood more, and vice versa, I think that would be a great place to start.  I know people always say to share fantasies, and I think that is wonderful when you are ready.  I'm just not there yet.  Hopefully, down the road.  For me, it is baby steps.  All these articles I keep reading in my research make it seem so easy and straight forward.  I think it is more of a slow and steady progress situation for me.  Just like the decline of our sex life wasn't over night, I don't think the recovery will be that way either.  It may work for one night of fun, but I want it to be amazing for the rest of my marriage.

In my research I found this article Here are 5 Sure Remedies For Your Sexless Marriage.  My marriage didn't quite get to the point of a "sexless" marriage, but I know many do.  Some by choice, and some not.  If both people choose to be in a sexless marriage then, there is nothing wrong with that.  It's all about getting what you want out of life, in my opinion.  Are you getting what you want and need physically and is your partner?  The hard part is making sure you both are happy because needs don't always line up.  I worry that maybe I want more than Mr. Sparks wants or he wants more than I do.  There is no perfect answer.  Do you have any great articles you have found during your research?

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Scheduling Sex

Dear Women Everywhere,

Yes, that is right.  I have decided to schedule my sex life.  It sounds worse than it is.  This is how I am beginning to overcome my mental block.  I am mentally deciding to have sex three times a week!  Ok maybe at least twice a week with a goal to get up to three times.  I am not actually writing it down or anything, although you could.  I am just making a mental note.  Then on those days I know to physically prepare and send a flirty text to get Mr. Sparks revved up throughout the day too.  Hopefully, once we get into a groove it will come more naturally but I think this will be a good place to start.  Do you schedule sex? 

I found this article: How Scheduling Your Sex Life Can Save Your Marriage.  So I am not the only one who thinks it is valuable.  I want to eventually talk to Mr. Sparks and ask if he wants to plan this together as well.  However, for now it is something I am going to keep secret.  I feel more comfortable and a little more sexy having it as my dirty little secret.

Updating you on actually feeling pretty lately.  Well, I have accomplished this so far.  Although, I don’t consider this a big feat given it has only been a few days but at least it is the start of a routine.  I have shaved my legs and Mr. Sparks has noticed.  The focus of sex has definitely shifted in our home over the last month.  My spiked interest has increased his as well.  I was able to take control last night and take it a little slower.  He seemed to like it.  I think tonight I am going to pour us some wine and have a good old-fashioned sex talk with Mr. Sparks.  Which leads me to this…How often do you and your spouse talk about sex?  Do you address your likes and dislikes?  I have to admit it has been YEARS and YEARS since we have had a good sex talk.  In fact, the last time we discussed it was deciding that he would get snipped.  Which is definitely not sexy talk.   I’ll let you know how it goes.

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Mentally in The Mood

Dear Women Everywhere,

Mentally I am trying to make an effort.  I have found that it all starts in my mind and not with my body.  I know that sounds odd, especially to Mr. Sparks.  He tried to get frisky last night and once again I shot him down.  I didn’t want to, but I just wasn’t in the mood.  I know, it sounds cliché.  But it probably sounds that way because women everywhere feel this way.  He asked if he could get me in the mood and I just gave him a dirty look.  I feel like I just took ten steps backwards. 

So, how can I be mentally in the mood?  I need to feel good about myself.  I think I am going to start making more of an effort again.  Not that I have time to do my hair and pick out nicer clothes in the morning, but I think it’s time that I MAKE the time again.  The kids are a little older and a little more independent and it is time that I stop relying solely on a pony tail in life.  I think I may even start shaving my legs more often, that will make me feel sexier and in the mood.  I know everyone thinks all this is just for men, but I do think that it used to make ME feel mentally sexy and confident.  I’ll let you know, that is if I can find the time to make it happen.  Who’s with me?  Let’s try and find a few extra me time minutes each day to look and feel like we used to.  

I started looking online and found a few articles like this one:  Getting in the Mood When You Feel Too Stressed For Sex.  This type of information is good, but not good enough...for me at least.  I am sure it helps many women.  That is so sweet that I will be in the mood if I "reduce obligations" in my life.  But guess what ladies...that is not how the real world works.  While some of the articles tips are great, some are just not realistic for REAL women.  We can't all afford house cleaners, nannies, personal trainers, and nutritionist.  We are just trying to get by.  That is why my sex life is so important to bring back into my life.  It doesn't cost money, it makes me feel amazing, it relieves my stress, and brings back that connection to my husband that is so important to me and my marriage.  Have you found any more useful articles that are more realistic?  

On a different note I did start my research, although I have not put it into action.  How to make a man last longer in the sack.  Here is a link to one article I found:  5 Ways to Help Him Last Longer in Bed.  There are a few tricks I have discovered, and I plan to use once I break through my mental issues.  The two I am going to focus on are going slower and changing positions.  I think I am going to try and take a little more control.  I will see if Mr. Sparks likes it.  Did you find anything useful in your research? 

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Vanilla Sexting

Dear Women Everywhere,

I read an article awhile ago about what people regret most in life.  It was surprising to learn it wasn’t something they said or did, it was what they didn’t do.  I don’t want to have regrets in my marriage.  I want to grow old together and I want to look back and think, Yes!  We did it right.  I don’t want to miss a moment to tell Mr. Sparks I love him.  I don’t want to miss a moment to hold his hand or kiss him goodnight and I surly don’t want to miss the chance to have the best sex life possible. 

Like everything in life, practice makes perfect.  I remember we used to be good at this, so we just HAVE to get our groove back.  A large part of that is me getting my groove back.  I admit that having kids did a number on my body and I need to be comfortable and confident in my skin again so that I can have more fun in the bedroom again.  I know many women feel the same way.  I wouldn’t change any of it because I love my little girls with all my heart.  Even when I'm doing laundry and picking up the same damn toy for the hundredth time.   That doesn’t mean I don’t want to feel sexy again too.  I want to be able to set that part of me aside at night and be fun and let loose.  

The sexting (well, the very vanilla sexting) went over very well.  He was flirty right back.  I can see where it is easy to take it further over the phone because it’s as if you are behind a mask.  This morning he left for work before I did so I took a picture of two pairs of sexy underwear (the only two I have, I made a mental note to go shopping) and asked him to pick.  After some hesitation he did.  Then I told him he will have to investigate later and see if I went with his wishes.  I thought this was fun and flirty.  Anyone else willing to take this risk?   I found an article you may be interested in as well.  How to use sexting to improve your marriage.  

In the mean time I am going to start doing some research as to how to make a man last longer in bed.  Does anyone have any tips?

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Amazing Sex Life

Dear Women Everywhere,

Deciding to have an amazing sex life is no small commitment.  I still can’t let my regular life slide of course, I still have a job and am a mother yadda yadda yadda.  In addition, I am adding sex goddess to my list.  Hmm, not sure how that is going to work.  But, I was happy to have sex, not thrilled with the duration or my pleasure.  I was happy he was happy.  So not only do I want more sex I also want better sex.  I am demanding I know. 

One thing at a time.  I will work on the more and then slowly work on making it better over time.  By 2020 we will all be having mind blowing sex, right?  RIGHT.  Today I am going to challenge myself to step out of my comfort zone.  Mr. Sparks is at work and I am going to send him a sexy text everyday for the next few days.  I challenge you to do the same.  Of course, this is in addition to still saying I love you more and kissing and compliments.  How’s that going by the way? 

There are lots of text choices out there.  Here are one’s I came up with that are sexy but not too raunchy.  Go for whatever you are comfortable with.  You could always go more lovey or more sexy if you want. 

               I had a dream about you last night, it was hot

               Maybe we should put the kids to bed early tonight, wink wink

               You looked handsome this morning, I can’t stop thinking about you.

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

I Got Laid

Dear Women Everywhere,

It was a hit!  I laid the note on his pillow and let him go to bed first.  He LOVED it!  I got a big kiss and hug.  He asked what sparked the note and I just told him I had been thinking a lot about us and our relationship.  I told him I don’t want to be like those couples that just exist, I want to live.    Then we made love, it was quick, but it was better than nothing.  It is definitely a step in the right direction. 

In the morning Mr. Sparks was more affectionate and I knew right then that I was on the right path for both of us.  This was the reaffirming moment I needed.  I am deciding now, I am going to have an amazing sex life, it will take time, but it will be worth the effort.  I am sure there will be up's and down's but everything in life takes work.  

Now we just have to work on frequency and rediscovering that spark we once had.  I know we don't have youth on our side like we once did.  However, I discovered according to this article: This Is The Best Age For Sex For Men And Women , women reported having the best sex at age 66.  Granted this was a poll of single women.  But, I think as a married woman it can be the same way.  I plan on achieving that at a much earlier stag of life and continuing to enjoy it.  

Was your note a success?

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Stepping UP

Dear Women Everywhere,

New Year NEW ME, I’m stepping it up.  I started out slow and steady.  I think that is the best way to go.  I warmed up Mr. Sparks.  I have showed him more affection with a little more PDA, a few more compliments and verbal love everyday over the last few weeks.  Now in the new year I am trying to decide how to step it up. 

I think men need to feel loved and appreciated just as much as women do.  While it is true that I need more of that in my life I think Mr. Sparks does as well.  So, I am going to write him a love note.  A part of me wants to tell him that I want our sex life to improve, but I think I am going to save that for another time.  In this note I am just going to tell him how much I love and appreciate him and how I couldn’t imagine my life without him.  

As for more PDA I was wondering where to draw the line.  I like to show my affection but in public I never like to have too much attention drawn to us.  I found this article:  Etiquette of Public Affection to be helpful.  Are you and your partner big on the PDA or more reserved?  

While it is true, just between us, there are times he drives me crazy when I trip over his shoes he left out or his snoring keeps me up all night.  But at the end of the day there is no one else I would rather do life with.  There are so many things we vent about with our spouses rolling our eyes and arguing over that sometimes we forget to tell them what we love about them.  I think we also forget to remind ourselves.  This note is not just for him, it is for me too.  It is to remind me why I love him, why I married him, and why I am going to keep fighting to get this marriage back to where I want/need it to be.  Let me know how yours goes.

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7