Sexercise

Dear Women Everywhere,

What a day.  Do you ever sit at work and just think you would rather be anywhere else?  Today that is how I felt….most days that is how I feel.  As I walked into work the smell of oatmeal and cheap coffee assaulted my nose in the breakroom.  Then I entered the dreaded cubicle maze and a wall of quietness felt like a force field of heavy breathing in unison.  It is always so unnatural for the number of people working behind the kola fur colored four-foot fabric walls that must be disgusting with bits of skin cells from the last 30 years.  It makes me shiver every day just thinking that I have never once seen them cleaned and what all they have witnessed.  I can always hear the random sniffle or stapler of all the good little worker bees as I take the same path I do every day like a rat in a science experiment but, there is no reward at the end.  Maybe this office job isn’t meant for me but, we need the pay check so there I sit day in and day out doing my job. 

Sorry for the rant.  I am sure many of you can relate.  Life isn’t perfect, but we do what we have to do to get by.  We do what we need to do to pay the bills and we do what we can to be happy.  Right now, I may not have control over my happiness at work but I do have control over the happiness at home.  I had mentioned that I need to start working out again.  Then I realized my muscles are a little sore after a good romp in the sack.  I can kill two birds with one stone.  Sexcersize.  Sex is a great way to get your heart rate up and get some good old exercise.  I think it will not only help my connection with my husband and help me feel great, but it is going to help me loose a few pounds too.  Forget yoga, I am going to get my work out in the bedroom. 

It will also help Mr. Sparks lose a few extra pounds of baby weight too.  That is right I am not the only one who put on a few pounds when I was pregnant.  This seems to be normal and I love his “dad bod” but this seems like a fun way to tone up together.  I even found this great article with positions (that are way beyond my expertise but maybe I'll get there someday) Top 8 Sexcercise Positions.  

To take it a step further I found this amazing website: SEXCERCISE Interactive You can calculate how many calories you burn and your partner burns.  Select different positions and how long in each positions.  Now, I don't see myself doing this often but, it is interesting to see.  I took a look at different positions and Mr. Sparks definitely burns more calories than I do.  I guess I really make him work for it.  

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

My Dirty Little Fantasy

Dear Women Everywhere,

It’s my quiet time in the house, when everyone is sleeping but me.  I would be in bed too but my mind is racing about all the tings I should have finished today.  I never did make it to the store, I guess the kids will have water in their cereal, because we are out of milk. 

Anyway, as you know the lingerie went great.  I enjoyed it too and would definitely do it again.  However, I have continued to over analyze it…as I tend to do to everything in life.  So, although it did make me feel good, I do feel it was more of a turn on for Mr. Sparks than for me.  If that is one of his fantasies, then what is one of mine? 

I know many people fantasize about other people, and I think it is great to use your imagination.  I feel lucky to be married to my best friend.  My dirty little fantasy may seem unusual to others.  I actually didn’t even realize it was one of mine until very recently, when I was laying in bed the other night.  I was having trouble falling asleep but Mr. Sparks was not.  I started thinking about sex, as I do so often these days.  Then I realized all I wanted was for Mr. Sparks to start spooning me, I wanted him to just know in his sleep my deep need for him.  I tried playing a little bit of footsie, but he was really sleeping.  My fantasy is to have such a deep emotional, physical, and spiritual connection with Mr. Sparks that he knows my every need and desire without me even saying a word.  That like an animal he instinctually would just sense my lust and desire at the right moment.  I know I could have woken him up, and I think he would have liked that, but it would have ruined the fantasy. 

Here is an article I found on fantasies other women have:  25 Sex Fantasies Women Have.  What are some fantasies you have had?  Have you shared any with your partner?  Have you tried any?  I am definitely going to have to think about other things I will like and have another talk with Mr. Sparks. 

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Lingerie ON

Dear Women Everywhere,

Finally, after it sitting in the drawer mocking me the lingerie, I was so eager to use, was put to good use.  Mr. Sparks waited down stairs patiently as I got ready.  My heart was racing a little as I felt so exposed but excited at the same time.  The moment I knew it was all worth it was when I saw the twinkle in his eyes and the mischievous youthful smile on his face.  In that moment all my insecurities drifted away, and I felt like we were just two young love birds again.  With our door locked for just a little while time stood still, and all our worries drifted away as if nothing else mattered in the world except our love. 

Sadly, and I hate to admit this, it has probably been since we were newly weds that I did anything special like that for Mr.  Sparks.  I think too often I let my insecurities get in the way of what really matters in life.  I get too wrapped up in my own head to realize that Mr. Sparks loves me for who I am.  Tonight, that twinkle in his eye and youthful smile reminded me that he finds me attractive still and I should be proud of the body that I have.  It is beautiful and wonderful that I have given birth to our two beautiful little girls.  In turn, I love his body as it has aged as well.  I don’t want the boy he once was (although I loved it at the time).  I now love the man he has become, extra hair and all. 

I am going to order more sexy underwear.  I enjoyed it and so did Mr. Sparks.  However, I know how life can get.  So, I think we should declare a designated night that is a little sexier than the other nights.  I’m thinking Monday’s because we are always dreading them, and it would make me look forward to Monday.  I will have to talk to Mr. Sparks and see what he thinks.  Do any of you have a designated night that you dress sexy? 

On a side note Mr. Sparks asked if I wanted him to wear anything special.  Do any of you have your man dress sexy?  I hadn’t really thought of this.  I told him I would have to think about it.  I know everyone is different and there is no judgement here.  If you want your man (or partner) wearing leather chaps more power to you.  For me, it is going to be a fantasy I explore further down the road.  I did find this article on what others think is sext for men to wear:  The 23 Sexiest Things a Guy Can Wear However, these are more in a day to day setting and not so much in the bedroom.  

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Roll Over

Dear Women Everywhere,

Mr. Sparks is back from his trip and very jet lagged.  I was laying in bed and I just couldn’t take it anymore.   I wanted so desperately to roll over and grab Mr. Sparks but, I feel like I am the only one making the effort here.  I laid on my side willing him to make the first move.  Wanting him to touch me, caress me, kiss me and love me.  As if my body wanting him could communicate with his and he would somehow roll over and grab me from behind and start gently showing me how much he needs me too. 

Then just like that the moment passed and the wanting turned into frustration and anger.  I felt as though if he turned to me with lust, I would turn him away.  I didn’t want him to touch me and I physically scooted further away from him in the bed.  That is when I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I decided to come write to you.  Am I only woman who feels this way?   There are so many times I want to be intimate, but I want him to make the first move, I want to feel wanted.  I want to be desired.  At the same time if it isn’t in the right moment and the window closes…my emotions change so rapidly. 

I am the first to admit it isn’t fair.  But life isn’t fair people.  I wish it were different, just as much as men wish it were different.  I guess that is why foreplay is so important.  So that lingerie Mr. Sparks and I bought together on that fun night that feels like a moth ago still just sits there mocking me.  I have probably gained weight since it arrived and it will probably not even fit anymore.  

I refuse to live this way.  I have to get back into the frame of mind of making the first move.  I found this interesting article:  Why Women Don't Initiate Sex With Men so I know it's not just me.  Ladies, we want sleep...I know this...but I want SEX too!  

Until the next time I can't sleep,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Self Satisfaction

Dear Women Everywhere

I'm all alone.  It's crazy how quiet the house seems at night with one less body in it.  I know it seems silly.  I am really not alone at all, the kids are home and the ferocious beast of a dog that still wakes me up every night or will defecate on the carpet.  Yet even when Mr. Sparks goes to bed before me I can sense his presence and don't feel as alone as I do right now.  He has traveled abroad for work so now I sit in a quiet house while everyone sleeps.

I decided tonight that instead of taking break from my sexual journey that I would continue it.  It has been sometime since I discovered my own self satisfaction.  To make it extra fun I decided to text Mr. Sparks and let him know what I was up to as well.  He definitely appreciated the information.  Solving your own problems is sometimes VERY satisfying, if you don't know your own wants and needs, then who does?  Not to mention all the fun toys they have these days to aid in accomplishing your goals.  You don't even have to be brave anymore when shopping, you can simply go online and click on when you want.

Not that there was any doubt that orgasms, no matter how they are achieved, have health benefits I did find some articles to support this.  Health Benefits of Masturbation.  8 Health Benefits Of Having An Orgasm Every Woman Should Know.  Not to mention it is just fun, why can't we just have fun in life again.  It almost feels like that is frowned upon these days.  As if we need an excuse to do something we want to do in life.  Look, I am a responsible adult who is a productive member of society...I don't need to have an excuse...and you don't either!

So, what do you like to think about while you self satisfy?  Next time you do it yourself.  I challenge you to not fantasize but just focus on YOU.  Just think about how relaxed you are and think about how great it feels.  Don't think about anything else, let your mind go blank.  Focus only on the feeling and that nothing else in the world matters at that moment.  If we can find our relaxation mode in our alone moments it will be easier to find them in other moments as well.  I am more ready than ever for Mr. Sparks to return home.

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Dry Spell Contunies

Dear Women Everywhere,

Dinner went was alright, I only slightly over cooked the salmon.  Cooking never has been my strong suit.  Mr. Sparks has always done more of the cooking than I have.  He leaves in the in morning for Japan.  It is a short trip given how far he is going but it always gives me more respect for single parents out there.  I have respect for the fact that they have to do it all on their own every day.  They are amazing and, I know this is completely off subject but it made me wonder how children can benefit from single parents.  So, as you all know by now how much I love reading articles.  I found this great article 7 Wonderful Ways Kids Benefit From Having Single Moms.

Okay, obviously my dry spell is continuing.  Aunt flow is still here and Mr. Sparks is heading out before she leaves.  I am doing my best to still be loving and affectionate.  In fact, I have talked to Mr. Sparks more about what I like.  I told him I love it when he is a little more of a gentleman.  Don't get me wrong, I am all for strong independent women and I am raising two of them as we speak.  However, that doesn't mean I don't want to be treated more like a lady.  I can be both a strong independent woman and a wife that likes to be treated with love and kindness.

I explained to Mr. Sparks that I find it sexy when he does things for me like holds doors, or thinks of me first.  It makes me happy and tells me in nonverbal ways that he is thinking of me.  I want him to share what turns him on with me as well.  I know mine may not be as sexy as he would have wanted but, I was just being honest.  I get turned on, or off,  throughout the day by his little actions or nonactions.  This is not to say I want him to be perfect, just to think a little more now and then of his actions for me.

For now, my dry spell is continuing.  I hope you are doing better than I am.  Hopefully the night Mr. Sparks gets back from his trip there are fire works.  Until then...

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Aunt Flow Comes To Town

Dear Women Everywhere,

The good news is my new lingerie arrived.  The bad news is it arrived at the same time as my Aunt Flow.  That's right, sometimes life throws you a curve ball.  Our darling Daughter is feeling better and no one else got sick.  Which is fantastic.  Not fantastic is the fact that we couldn't use it.  So much for the vanilla sexting I had done earlier that day when I thought it was still possible.  Ooops...sorry Mr. Sparks to get you all hot and bothered just to leave you with a cold shower in the end.  I guess we all have bad luck sometimes.

Although, I know many people have sex while on their period.  Do you?  I have never been a fan of it.  I just don't feel sexy or in the mood.  I did some research, as I tend to do.  I found an article explaining some of the health benefits.  5 Reasons You Should Have Sex on Your Period  
I'm still not convinced.  To each their own, if you are into it then go for it and enjoy the health benefits as well.

Do you get frustrated with all the experts out there telling you how to make your sex life so wonderful?  I think so often they forget what real life is like.  You can do everything by the book, but that doesn't mean that life isn't going to get in the way.  I just need to remember after Aunt Flow leaves, I need to make an effort again.  In the meantime, I will continue to make an effort to be more loving in other ways.

Tomorrow, even though I will just want to be in comfy clothes and eat chocolate for dinner I will  make Mr. Sparks favorite meal.

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7