Slow and Steady

Dear Women Everywhere,

Slow and steady wins the race.  Last night Mr. Sparks held my hand as we watched TV.  I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal.  But, it has been a long time since he has reached out and done that.  Usually we sit on our own side of the couch and there is not touching.  I can’t help but think that my effort has subconsciously been noticed by him.  Or maybe it was just the magic of a long Christmas day.  

Thinking about sex so much I have talked to some of my friends.  I am shocked at how many of them have a lack of sex in their marriage.  When did the happiness of our love life stop being a priority?  Why does society project that it is just men that want sex?  I understand that there has to be a balance in life but I do think it is important that my children see that my marriage is happy, because I want them to have a happy marriage one day.  I need to make it a priority, so I can model that for them.  

I found so many articles on sex and marriage in the US (and other countries) even NBC posted this one recently: How often do the happiest couples have sex? (It's less than you think).  Just remember as we go through this journey together not to focus on anyone else's normal.  Don't worry so much about what other people are doing.  This is all about focusing on your and your spouses happiness.  What works for one couple may not work at all for another but, you should always be open to trying new things.  

What do you do to model a good relationship for your children?   If you don't have children, how was a good relationship modeled for you?  

All the best,

Mrs.  Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Kissing Game

Dear Women Everywhere,

I feel like a middle schooler flirting with a crush again.  It is silly I know after being with the same man for so many years.  We dated for 5 years and have been married for 13 now.  Yet thinking about sex all the time and how to go about getting it has turned me into a hormonal teenager all over again.  I take that back, I wasn’t a very horney teen, so I guess this must be what a teen boy felt like.  How did they survive? 

Giving more compliments and love has worked and brought him a little closer.  I am moving on to step two of my plan….Kissing Game.  We do still kiss, but it is always the quick peck goodbye or goodnight.  Today that all changes.  I am a little nervous.  My plan is to hold him a little closer and smooch him a little longer.   

If you don’t kiss at all I challenge you to try and give a peck at bedtime tonight and each night try and make it last a little longer.  My plan is by night three I will be slipping him the tongue.  He won’t even see it coming.    

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

Sex Life Makeover

Dear Women Everywhere,

Where does one begin changing their sex life?  It is unrealistic to go from one extreme to the other overnight.  Now that I have made up my mind it feels a little like a game to me, a challenge if you will.  So, I have started with a little research online.  There are so many benefits to sex for me and Mr. Sparks. It counts as exercise, lowers stress, and even will help my wrinkles.  Here is an article I found on the Health Benefits alone.  The benefits are endless, not to mention the thing I miss the most, the intimacy.  

With the obvious out of the way...sex is awesome for my marriage.  I now must figure out how to reintroduce it regularly into my life.  That is the true challenge because when the kids are finally in bed and ASLEEP the last thing on my mind is sex.  I think I have shot down Mr. Sparks advances so many times that he has given up trying.  Now it is up to me to make the advances. 

Rome wasn’t built in a day.  Today I am going to simply give Mr. Sparks a compliment and tell him that I love him twice more that I usually would.  I challenge you to do the same in your marriage today.  Let me know the reaction in the comments below. 

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7

When The Flame Fizzles

Dear Women Everywhere, 

Sex is never something I thought I would be on my knees praying for.  Yet there I was, in church last Sunday praying for a better sex life with my husband.  I can’t pin down exactly when the spark fizzled out.  Maybe it was after the first kiddo was born, maybe it was after the second.  Maybe it was the stress of two working parents, the mortgage, the laundry, cooking dinner, homework, and life in general.  However, it happened after 13 years of marriage, we were still in love and happy, but there was a distance that is hard to describe. 

There I was on my knees in church wondering.  Is sex that important to me?  Is sex that important to my marriage?  Sneaking a sideways glance at my loving husband, who is an amazing father, I wondered how a better sex life would change his life too.  At that point I decided I was going to find out.  As a strong and powerful woman do, I decided to take control of the situation. 

You are probably wondering why I would even fathom putting this very real and embarrassing situation online.  That is exactly why.  Because it is very real, and it shouldn’t be embarrassing.  I have realized I am not alone.  There are so many women out there that have a lack of sex in their marriage and wish for more.  So, here is my story on how I am going to change my marriage.  If I can help one other person…mission accomplished. 

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

Follow me on Twitter @LoveSparks7