The Sex Talk

Dear Women Everywhere,

This has been an interesting journey so far.  I have been reading articles and talking to people more about sex more than I ever have before.  I know there is so much more to a marriage than sex.  I feel like Mr. Sparks and I have a strong relationship over all.  We communicate about the kids, the finances, schedules, work, and so much more.  So why aren't we talking more about sex?  That is why tonight, or soon at least when the kids aren't around and we have a nice glass a wine (from the box, ha ha), Mr. Sparks and I are going to have the sex talk.  HA!  That sounds like he isn't sure where to put it.  I assure you, he does.  I just want to talk about what went awry and how to straighten it all out, or see if he even wants it to change.  Do you talk about sex with your spouse?

I have high hopes for the sex talk.  I want to confess that I am scheduling our sex and see if he is also doing this.  I want to ask if he stopped initiating because I turned him down so many times.  I also want to ask him to start trying again and assure him, I will do my best to say yes more often.  If he can open up and let me know how I can put him in the mood more, and vice versa, I think that would be a great place to start.  I know people always say to share fantasies, and I think that is wonderful when you are ready.  I'm just not there yet.  Hopefully, down the road.  For me, it is baby steps.  All these articles I keep reading in my research make it seem so easy and straight forward.  I think it is more of a slow and steady progress situation for me.  Just like the decline of our sex life wasn't over night, I don't think the recovery will be that way either.  It may work for one night of fun, but I want it to be amazing for the rest of my marriage.

In my research I found this article Here are 5 Sure Remedies For Your Sexless Marriage.  My marriage didn't quite get to the point of a "sexless" marriage, but I know many do.  Some by choice, and some not.  If both people choose to be in a sexless marriage then, there is nothing wrong with that.  It's all about getting what you want out of life, in my opinion.  Are you getting what you want and need physically and is your partner?  The hard part is making sure you both are happy because needs don't always line up.  I worry that maybe I want more than Mr. Sparks wants or he wants more than I do.  There is no perfect answer.  Do you have any great articles you have found during your research?

All the best,

Mrs. Sparks

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