Roll Over

Dear Women Everywhere,

Mr. Sparks is back from his trip and very jet lagged.  I was laying in bed and I just couldn’t take it anymore.   I wanted so desperately to roll over and grab Mr. Sparks but, I feel like I am the only one making the effort here.  I laid on my side willing him to make the first move.  Wanting him to touch me, caress me, kiss me and love me.  As if my body wanting him could communicate with his and he would somehow roll over and grab me from behind and start gently showing me how much he needs me too. 

Then just like that the moment passed and the wanting turned into frustration and anger.  I felt as though if he turned to me with lust, I would turn him away.  I didn’t want him to touch me and I physically scooted further away from him in the bed.  That is when I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I decided to come write to you.  Am I only woman who feels this way?   There are so many times I want to be intimate, but I want him to make the first move, I want to feel wanted.  I want to be desired.  At the same time if it isn’t in the right moment and the window closes…my emotions change so rapidly. 

I am the first to admit it isn’t fair.  But life isn’t fair people.  I wish it were different, just as much as men wish it were different.  I guess that is why foreplay is so important.  So that lingerie Mr. Sparks and I bought together on that fun night that feels like a moth ago still just sits there mocking me.  I have probably gained weight since it arrived and it will probably not even fit anymore.  

I refuse to live this way.  I have to get back into the frame of mind of making the first move.  I found this interesting article:  Why Women Don't Initiate Sex With Men so I know it's not just me.  Ladies, we want sleep...I know this...but I want SEX too!  

Until the next time I can't sleep,

Mrs. Sparks

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